Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Shelf Life of Boobies are Not as Long as You Might Think!!


Okay...here goes... this is a warning for the next sixty seconds...or longer if you read very slowly...there will be the words boobies and boobs used in my post!
IF...you are offended by this...Don't Read this Post!!!
IF...I gave birth to you...Don't Read this Post!!
If...you married someone I gave birth to...Don't read this post!!
If you gave birth to me or had anything to do with the birthing of me...Don't Read this Post!!
If you attend my church...Don't Read this Post!!
If anyone is still reading this post...


I went to Pilates and I do apologize for always posting about Pilates all the time... but I pay more for it a week than for my groceries...so let's just say it's a big part of my life!!

I had an epiphany while sweating and praying that Jesus would take me home before the end of my class!

There is this instrument of torture there called the barrel and the instructor usually becomes so frustrated with me she just shows me what she wants me to do...because I am a Moron!!
But...this time she verbally instructs...

"Put your tummy on the barrel letting your boobies hang off the side!
So because I think like a 12 year old boy...I start laughing!!!

Now Old Ronda which is Young Ronda probably could have done this but New Ronda which is Old Ronda struggled...(you understand that, right?)

So...I do manage to haul myself onto barrel and then while placing boobies (teehee) on barrel...it occurs to me that my boobies are now boobs and they move independently of one another meaning that I end up with one boob hanging off barrel and the other on the barrel!
One went South and the other North...
this makes me laugh harder...it's okay...

Old Ronda which is Young Ronda would have laughed, too!!!

So...I did what New Ronda which is Old Ronda had to do...I take my hand and I lift my wayward boob off the barrel and try again!!
For more Wordful Wednesdays visit Angie

32 comments:

Diane said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Breathe...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Breathe...

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Bwwaaaa...I totally would have been kicked out for laughing...Thank you for sharing that...laughing with you NOT at you!!

Betty said...

ROTFL!! I wish I could join your class! :) We use exercise balls and they are just as funny....

Bee and Rose said...

My boobies travel all over the place too! lol! I hate it when I lay down on my back and they slide off to the side!

Jeanne said...

Great blog title! It caught my eye and dragged it over here.

Scary Mommy said...

LMAO!!! See? Just another reason not to exercise. Thank you.

Blog Stalker said...

Oh thankyou for the laugh today! I would have been laughing also, What is it about the word boobies anyway? lol

Have a great day!

Brenda said...

Heeheehee...you said "boobies"

TuTu's Bliss said...

Oh my!!! This is so funny. I have go go gadjet boobs thanks to my nursing baby. I never knew how much "give" thay had. LOL

Kori said...

HA! Laugh out loud laughing here!

Rhonda said...

Oh my. The New Rhonda is relating to you. The Old Rhonda wants help getting onto the barrel. The Young Rhonda just wants to sit down and cry.

lol

Great post!

Ginger said...

That's funny!!! I'd never make it in Pilates class.

dana said...

Now you're doing ADVANCED PILATES. Lifting the boobs can be very strenuous.

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Ya, my new big boobies, my fifty some year old boobies get smooshed and hurt when I attempt to exercise.

Di

Ritch in Love said...

Oh I am up way too late (uh, early) while I try and finish a load of laundry that I need done in the morning and forgot to take care of.

Here I am enjoying a cup of tea and I read this post: I officially dribbled a mouthful tea onto my pj bottoms trying to not wake my husband as I laugh!

Dropping by for WW. Thanks for the laugh. You're hilarious!

Hootin' Anni said...

Boobies or no boobies that is the question. Heck, at least you have boobs that would hang over...mine? They'd just mash into the barrel unseen for the work out.

My Wordful this week is all about the birds and bees...errrr, um....maybe birds and cats. Is it Superman in the sky? Come find out.

jill jill bo bill said...

Thank god I not only THINK like a 12 yr old boys, my boobies LOOK like a twelve year old boys...

TOO FUNNY, fit RONDA!!!!

Live.Love.Eat said...

Note to self: stay away from barrel in ANY exercise room.

Glenda, saved by grace said...

I finally found out what a sports bra is for after trying to run on the treadmill and dodging said "boobies". I put that sucker on and I'm BOUND up! Its great!

Dr. Mom said...

Too funny! So glad I don't take pilates, though I need to!

Veggie Mom said...

That's a hoot-and-a-half, I'd say! Thanks so much for sharing this giggle today...

Karyn said...

Oh Ronda!

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

I'm new here, and I'm glad I stopped by!! That was great!

I have independent boobs too!

Michelle said...

Oh my goodness, thanks for the great belly laugh.

Debbie said...

I find I have to give the girls a little guidance now and then myself!

Brenda said...

Your stories make me want to take pilates. . REALLY BAD. . . especially if I can find a Russian instructor!

Simply AnonyMom said...

hehehe
hahaha
hehehe

K said...

If at first you don't succeed... :-)
Love that you AND the girls are doing Pilates.

Blessings!

Teri said...

I, also, would never be able to keep a straight face with those instructions.

And I think my boobies have a zip code all their own. Far away from my upper body. I'm just sayin'.

Lauren said...

I feel your pain. Mine are 34D and I just went to Macy's for a new bra this week. I'd have been laughing too.

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

Sounds like your boobies got quite the workout! I don't think I've ever used that word before--LOL!!