Hubby and I, once a month feed the homeless at a meal and shower shelter that also provides a clothes closet. We met a man that seemed to have some mental health issues and he was very scary and I at one point mishandled him...resulting in a very Scary Man Moment!( You can click on Scary Man and read the original post if you would like.)
He has continued to scare people and intimidate but I still smile and greet him and try to be kind to him. It's not always easy.
But last Monday... a young volunteer came up to me and said while I served food..."He's here!" and I knew who she was talking about because she is especially frightened of him.
I walked outside and I watched as he walked back and forth like a caged animal...my first reaction was fear so I prayed... "Let me see him as you do."...and instantly I did.
He was scared!
I remembered my earlier post and one of the comments...
Lauren wrote.
Maybe he is not really Scary Man, just scared man?
Scary Man was scared!
I smiled and waved from the kitchen door but I did not approach him and within minutes he was walking in the back door...
I smiled and walked slowly to him and spoke softly (for me, anyway) and yet he still shushed me and said crossly..."You speak too loud...too much buzzing!!"
I tried to look contrite and said even softer..."I am so glad you are here...May I bring you food"
and he smiled and said...
"I am so glad you are here...you weren't here before!"
I came back and told my group...myself smiling..."Prince Charming would like to eat."
We fed him and while he can still be rude and seem ungrateful and certainly scary...I do see he is scared.
My fellow blogger Lauren helped me see him as he was...
she and I don't agree always on politics but I value her as a friend and fellow blogger!
My Tuesday's Tribute is Lauren....cause it's not*all*about*me!
9 comments:
As is SO often the case, I head just what I needed to hear today; I am guilty of pre-judging and not seeing people the way they really look. It's funny the way you prayed that because I say the same thing daily, that I will see people as The Big Guy does. And often the things I see as a result just knock me to my knees in humility.
What a beautiful post . . .
Made me think of the movie Knowing - how scary Mr. Ayers may look to everyone, but how he is just afraid and protective of his privacy -even in the "public" way he lives...
What an excellent post, Ronda. Very eye-opening!
Justine :o )
What a moving experience. How easy it is to lash out instead of actually asking for help - I'm glad you looked deeper.
I really liked this story. I would have been scared too. Sometimes we just have to try harder to see things from their point of view instead of being blinded by our own. Good for you and Lauren.
Great post! Learning to de-escalate people who are upset is a wonderful skill -- I would love to be better at it, and will recall your words the next time I'm in this situation at the clinic.
I remember that post.......how wonderful that with the inspiration of your friend and with a little prayer you knew how to approach him.
:D
Such a nice post and you told it so well. I need to open my eyes and my heart.....and close my mouth more often!!!
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