Saturday, September 13, 2008

What Not To Wear???

Okay...if I gave birth to you or nursed for the first two years of your life you may not want to read any further....Yes, kids that's you! This post is not for you!

I am 50 now and learning fast that there are now rules, actually many rules you need to follow and 50 seems to be that magical cut off mark...and I am not liking it!
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be that desperate woman in the room who still acts and dresses like she's 30 but some of these rules...are mostly just unsaid!
I was getting ready to turn off the TV, when Kathie Lee and some guy...I think named Kelly from What Not To Wear made "suggestions" for women over 50...this caught my attention and so I sat down and waited with my cup-of-joe.
While I waited...I thought about the changes my body has decided to completely do on it's own and the age spots that now even reside on my legs for God's sake!
I have a gained weight...I understand it may not be a lot of weight for some but it prevents me from wearing some of my clothes as they no longer fit and for me because I love clothes, this is like losing old friends, well toddlers really but still they are friends! I am coming to terms with all of this and my mantra has been I shall age this show was going to inform and enlighten me! But, this Kelly guy...his tone was a little condescending, like women over 50, maybe a little stupid as well, I think even Kathie Lee felt defensive. Let me say, there isn't a lot of role models...women who actually age and don't have plastic surgery! I have seen some actresses this fall season that I didn't even recognize...Anne Archer for one and Meg Ryan...What has she done to her lips?
So, according to Mr. Smarty pants...
1. No cleavage...ironically enough "the girls" just came in and I have to keep them under lock and key!
2. No shiny lipstick...spotlight those tiny lines around your mouth!
3. Longer dresses...50 year old knees shouldn't be seen!
4. My purse shouldn't match my shoes! Yeah, that's it...that was his advice!
5. The real killer...lower heels...I guess I could fall and break a hip!
I stopped my day for this earth shattering advice...that he dispensed so patiently to the disadvantaged Seniors of our world...Thanks!
Here's the thing...The Hubby and I are home alone with no children for the first time in over 20 years...and he would love me to dress like a Hootchie Mama! I ask, what's a 50 year old broad to do? I still like to dress nice and I love to dance...Do old people not do these things? I guess it hit me for the first time...50 might be old and yet I don't feel old at all!

Okay, kids you can uncover your eyes and ears now and come back into the room!


J'Ollie Primitives said...

My fab-u-lous 65+ y.o. MIL ALWAYS shows a tasteful hint of cleavage, wears bright red lipstick at times, and pays NO attention to Mr. Smarty Pants' rules. Silly rules anyway.

Dress any way you please. Rules are meant to be broken.

Lisa said...

I say dress how you want. Just as long as you dont have a wrinkled rear peeking out from under a micro-mini, I say GO FOR IT. If you are 50 and you still have it, flaunt it baby, flaunt it.

Gina said...

Hey, you Hootchie Mama!! if you've still got it, baby, FLAUNT it because the time WILL come where we're wearing cotton nighties and tooling around in fuzzy little slippers out of our heads at the nursing home.... so you go girl!!
50 is the new 40, so you still have AT LEAST 10 years to show your stuff.
Rules?!?! Did someone say the word RULE?!?!?!
Ummmmm.... I have never liked to be told what to do.
Just ask my mother.

Dawn said...

I don't think i'd listen to him!!! Dress in whatever way makes you feel good about yourself and a little bit hootchie for your husband!

Jennifer said...

I say--if you look good in it--wear it! I don't think there has to be any rules! I, for one, am not a rule follower. Where does this guy get off saying "no cleavage."?? Up his!

And I don't know what Meg Ryan has done to her lips--but it ain't good.

You know who looks really good? Andie McDowell. I don't think she's any any "work" and she looks as good as ever.

Princess S said...

Who exactly sets these rules...why is a man telling women what to wear....he doesn't have the right parts!!! You let those twins be free and enjoy them before they completly fall!!! Beside if someone is talking about what you are wearing it is probably because they are jealous and can't pull it off!!!

jill jill bo bill said...

See?! You know I have this issue with "who made that rule" and people just accepting it. I haven't worn anything mini since I was 34, but I have hideous legs. Flaunt good and cover bad. THAT is the rule. Period.

Rhonda said...

Boys are stupid. We should throw rocks at them.

KeepinUnity said...

as long as you havent got a camel toe or you have ya midrift hanging out or a thong strap above ya trouser line!or say lip liner that is outside ya lips/apparently giving u fuller lips which only makes women look like drag queens /drawn on eyebrows lol it dont matter what u wear or what u look like!love the cellulite,make friends with the cellulite we all hav it !!love ya ronda n your hot for your age! if i look half as good as u do at your age i b a happy lady!

amelia bedelia said...

just please don't start wearing double knit pants with the waist up under your boobs!!

you are so cute, those would probably look good on you!!

Blog Stalker said...

Throw whatever "rules" out and make up your own. The only rules that you 'need' to follow are the common sense rules.

Seeing as you are full of common sense, that should not be a problem.

Wear what makes you happy and enjoy the quiet house. I am so so jealous.

Britt said...

Get on with your bad self, Honey! Most men only have cleavage in the rear, and they seem to have no problem letting it peek out whenever and wherever regardless of how old THEY are. You let those girls breathe a little ;o)

Nic said...

Ugh! if it looks nice wear it!

These pigging rules things do my head in! I am only 9 years behind you so I guess it had better be a big cleavage day from now until then!! lmao xxx

Ronda's Rants said...

I love you all...thanks for the kind words and listening to my complaining!!!

LoLo said...

I dont know if I count as not being able to read this:) Please do not listen to these things, I cant stand when people think Im 50 so I must dress like an 80 year old. I can tell you that my mother and claudia will wear high heels until they have a walker..maybe even then. Dont listen to those people.

Candid Carrie said...

My boobs finally got here and I don't feel like putting them away yet. Yeah, I was a B cup, barely a B+ when I was marekting myself however now that I am fully established I get DDs? Seriously, what is up with that?

I sport minimal cleavage because (and this is terrible to say/write) I can't stand to see "old lady wrinkled" cleavage. Doesn't that look cruddy? I don't have the old lady wrinkled cleave yet and a couple of really good girlfriends promise to let me know when it gets here because then I am closing up shop.

Did you also hear we are supposed to be wearing bangs now? Yup, hides the wrinkles in our foreheads.

We can still wear tee-shirts that say "I'm with supid" right?

Karyn said...

Ronda. You are the classiest broad I know! You would never do anything tacky. There is no way Mr. What-Not-To-Wear was talking to you. Have you ever seen his show on TLC? They only let sad and pathetic train wrecks on. He was so not talking to you! xo

Geoffrey said...

Dear Ronda, Great post! I would say that you and your body should tell you what to wear - not somebody else! Our whole lives have brought us to this point, where we are able to be oursleves . . . and how we feel is how old we are - period! Sorry I couldn't get the travel post done. . . next time! Good luck with the wardrobe!!