Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Pilates...Puleeeeease!!!



Here are pictures of my first Pilates class...this one was easy as opposed to the second and third ones... the already-paid-for-You-can't-have-your-money-back-ones!
My first class was learning to breathe properly...add that to the ever growing list of things...
I am not doing right!



See...we look like twins here... if your idea of Twins is that movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito!
Here's a position I haven't been in awhile...let's see how old is my youngest?
The second Pilates class was with the owner of the studio/torture chamber and I knew I was in trouble from almost the first moment...
She knew I had paid in advance and I knew I had paid in advance so she didn't have anything to lose (meaning my money!)
We started quickly and almost immediately I am throwing out the age card....
So I said...
"Yea, this is a little hard for me since I am 50!"
This was met with deadly silence! I then say...
"Yea, I am now on AARP's mailing list!"
She turns and smiles and with her perfect English with beautiful Russian accent says..."Do you know I was Russian Gymnast?"
God help me, Jesus I think! "Uh, No!" I say.
"You should read my bio!" and she points to this machine and says "Hop on barrel and le-t-t-er!"
My eyes try to follow her finger pointing and find a barrel and letter while I look blankly AND NOT AT ALL SMART still not finding a barrel or a letter!
I finally realize she is saying barrel and ladder and she wants me to put my leg at a 45 degree angle on the ladder and bend towards it!
I think about the money I have spent on these classes and wonder if liposuction is indeed that painful. I mean really how painful can it be?
I smile cutely and say "You know you being Russian and all...You may not know that you can't torture people on American soil!"
She smiles more cutely back! I am stalling and I look around and say..."So which machine do you use for the water boarding?"
She smiles and pats the barrel and ladder and I raise my leg and tell her ...
"Look...I don't know what you want me to say but I will...whatever you want me to confess to...I will...I did it!"
She pats the machine again... and I know I am not getting out of this and also that I will never have any sort of top-secret government clearance as I could never be trusted with any sort of secrets!
For more Wordful Wednesdays visit Angie

30 comments:

Diane said...

Thanks! You just convinced me never to take Pilates! Much appreciated ;)

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Waterboarding? Hmmm, maybe Bush can get a part-time job there with all the time he will now have on his hands...JUST KIDDING!!!

Jeanne said...

I've often thought my gym could double as a torture chamber -- but at least I set my own pace -- I don't have a Grand Inquisitor running the show!

Rhonda said...

Oh, that is just too funny! I love the gyne position one! lol

Karyn said...

This would be why I just give the YMCA money every month but do not actually go!

Coachdad said...

At least you gave it a shot... I used to train people at a gym and I wasn't very good because I used to listen to all my clients stop making them work as soon as they complained. We would shoot the bull and never get anything accomplished.

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

HA - good luck! I hate to exercise!

Violet said...

My inner former ballerina is dying to try Pilates!

I popped in 'cause Coachdad said I should...I'll be back 'cause I wanna read more. :)

Lace said...

So funny! Good luck with that! ...Crazy Russians.

Brenda said...

I still want to do pilates, but not with a Russian instructor!

blueviolet said...

A little bit of torture is good for us all.

Ronda's Rants said...

Okay...she is really good and I do like it!
It's just a little bit hard for me! :)
I need remedial Pilates!

Debbie said...

Run away Ronda. Don't let that Russian superathlete get her claws into you.

Hootin' Anni said...

Ohhhhhhhhh, good luck with that.

Come on over...today I'm taking y'all on a tour of the Texas State Aquarium via photos!!!! See ya later alligator...Oops, I let the 'cat out of the bag'...Yep, there are alligators. One photo anyway.

Happy Wednesday.

jill jill bo bill said...

OMG that was THE funniest thing!! I am laughing out loud. Scratching you off my potential spy list.

Jennifer said...

LOL Ronda--I promise it will get better! Once you get through those first couple of sessions it will stop hurting so much and the pay off is so huge! Keep up the good work!!

Angela said...

Oh my goodness her bio alone is intimidating enough to know that if she was my instructor....secrets and confessions would fly! Good luck! Hope you learn to enjoy it! Too funny!

Lori of I'm no super Mom said...

Oh too funny! I hope it gets easier!

Michelle said...

LOL! I have done mat based pilates but not the machine pilates. The machine scares me!

Elaine A. said...

Ouch. Pilates is "hurty!"

Thanks for the laughs! : )

Julie said...

Too funny! I've only done the Pilates DVDs...I think I'll stick with those. :)

Kelly Deneen said...

bwahahaha! You are hilarious!! :) I bet you ended up having a blast! A Russian gymnast, really??

angie said...

Sounds like you worked your powerhouse! :) Loved this post!

Kori said...

You are smart for pre-paying; if it were me, that would be the ONLY reason I would follow through!

careysue said...

I pre-paid yoga before, you can get out of it!!

Seriously, I am so proud of you--if we lived closer I'd take it with you! Give it a month and you'll feel like a new woman! ;)

TuTu's Bliss said...

Great job! Hysterical post. Pilates is serious..but kick boxing aerobics is brutal. Consider yourself warned!

Brenda said...

You go girl! Lunch mext Friday sounds great, but it's Dutch! Panera? Can Karyn come too?

I saw you picked up your award!

Z's Mom said...

You are too funny! It probably didn't end up even being that bad did it?

It could have been worse....Dick Cheney could have been your instructor!!!

Ginger said...

This is a great post, Rhonda. Makes me want to find a pilates class...NOT!!! lol
At least you have the courage to try it.
Ginger

Kelly said...

Scary Russian trainer!
I want to know who's taking pictures of you when you're working out?!