I have made my blog public again after a falling out with a fellow blogger...I have enabled comment moderation and while I hate it...I hate her comments more! :)
I am sorry if anything I have written ever offends as it is never my intention. I am just sharing my opinions and you know what they say about opinions...
Early in our marriage...My Hubby and I discovered that, he did not like, understand or know how to make or even fake an apology. This became a problem as mystery of all mysteries I needed one to get over whatever happened. We will define "get over" as anything that prevented me from pretending there was not anything wrong...I should also suggest here I am not good at faking or pretending. It was a difficult time for both of us.
My husband has learned to give "good apologies" since this time in fact he is better at giving a sincere apology than anyone I know. When I am sorry...I truly try to give the apology in the manner my Hubby has shown me.
Do not say I am sorry you got your feelings hurt!
This is like saying "I am sorry you were run over by a car!" while you were the driver of the car!
Don't apologize unless you are.
This is when you say "I am sorry but ...you started it! "
Don't apologize and then continue doing the behavior.
"I am sorry you were run over by the car!" Now stand here while I get back into the car and hit you again.
To apologize you say "I am sorry that "whatever happened" occurred and I admit "my responsibility" and I hope you accept my apology as I will not let this happen again."
It is okay to say it was unintentional but to say to someone " You shouldn't feel whatever you are feeling"... is not okay!
You accept apology and you should!! ... (in a perfect world)
Maybe, like My Hubby you are married to someone like me who wants to revisit said injury.
He patiently listens and says while smiling..."And, I am still sorry for all of that!"
I can't think of anyone who could still be angry with a person like that... Well, I can but he loves me anyway!!!
I do love you Bob!!