Thursday, April 23, 2009

Wake Up Maggie May!

I had an interesting morning...
First...Hubby and I are in a significant tiff...the kind where he sleeps and snores and I toss and turn thinking over each statement he made to me! We are in St. Augustine... still at the charming bungalow we rented...
Hubby left early to go to the job site...I, who had fallen asleep on the couch, in her clothes and woke up with half her makeup still on...only now at the bottom of her face, sit pouting on the couch!
My cell phone rings and it is a good friend who has relocated to Jacksonville...I am chatting away...not caring that it is after 9am and that I look like death warmed over...when someone pounds on the front door! Dogs barking...I quickly say my "goodbyes" and answer the door!

There is a man in uniform with clipboard in hand who looks up over his clip board to ask if I am
John Smith... ( not actual name said)...
I without a thought about what I look like reply...
"No!"
Uniformed man sighs and says..."Is this John Smith's house?"
To which I reply honestly..."I don't know!"
Uniformed and evil thinking man questions "Don't you know where you slept last night?"
I am now getting snooty...well as snooty as a disheveled 50 year old woman can get!
I try to straighten my hair and smooth my wrinkled shirt and say...
"I have rented this house and I can't remember his name off the top of my head...."
and then I say with a touch of a British accent because the British do snooty best
"What seems to be the problem?"
Evil thinking, uniformed man who now is snooty too, or actual British citizen...says
"Well, it would seem that , it is unfortunate for you because I am here to turn off your electric!"
And he did!
My phone is now ringing...and it's my daughter and I ask her for the owner's name and phone number and she gives it to me.
I then start to tell her what evil thinking, uniformed man said and I stop unable to express in words what this man thought of me and I am saying...
"He thought I was...was...was..."
And my daughter cracked me up when she said...
"He thought you were Coyote Ugly!"
I am laughing and said
" I should have yelled over my shoulder...Hey, are you John?"

Hubby reached owner by phone, and the owner was mortified although I am unsure he may know what mortified really feels like! He said he would call the management company and then he said to my Hubby..."What about the water?"
I told Hubby...I wasn't answering the door the rest of the morning!

Good news...
Electric is back on and water seems to be fine!
I am off to take the trolley ride!

10 comments:

Betty said...

haha, I love your honesty! You couldn´t have looked that bad! :)

Diane said...

I'm laughing WITH you... honest! You ARE laughing, right? ;)

Ronda's Rants said...

I am laughing...
Have you seen the movie Orange County...I think it's so funny when John Lithgow says to Catherine O'Hare...
Good morning...Coyote Ugly!
If you have seen the movie...I promise you I looked like that!
Not my best look!

Kori said...

I LOVED that movie, and that ? One of the best lines EVER.

Lauren said...

Rhonda? Do you want to be happy or right? Forget every little thought. Men don't give a rats ass. He isn't thinking one iota of the deal. Think like a man. Get off your duff and go have a good time and don't pay attention to the hubby. Enjoy your day and believe you me he'll take notice in a day or so and freak out!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

YOU crack me up!!!! "Hey, are you John" LOL!!!!

Regarding the DH... I got nothing, but I agree with Lauren.

Ginger said...

Whenever I am sitting at the computer in my robe, my glasses (before I get the contacts in) and uncombed hair, someone will show up at the door. I act like I am sick. lol
I like Lauren's comment, do you want to be happy or right? I usually want to be right when it's an argument with hubby, making us both unhappy. It's the principle!!!
I am bullheaded.

Karyn said...

I can still hear you telling me this story over the phone and I am still laughing! Love you!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Hilarious! I'm sure you should feel proud that he thought of you as a young, restless thing!! ;)
I like that your husband too did not find it the least bit interesting!!!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

I pay no attention to Hubby and do as I please.... sorry you had a rotten evening followed up with a strange morning... you're two for two... go have fun for heaven sakes.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal