It is funny how accepting you can be of others and then you can be so hard on yourself...I know this seems to be a trait women have although I do know a man who shares this trait with me. I try to be a good friend and I never, EVER judge others on their physical appearance but I have struggled with judging myself and my looks all my life. I think you could safely say I have never been satisfied with my appearance and I usually dislike having my picture taken.Two years ago when I started my blog...I chose the picture I have on my blog, not because I thought I looked good in it but because I was happy when the picture was taken. Today, I discovered a picture that was taken while I was volunteering and it is awful and for awhile it almost took all the happiness away from me that I had felt while working hard for a good cause...shallow, yes that is me!
I saw the picture and all these feelings of unworthiness starting invading my thoughts and suddenly every good feeling I had of serving a very worthwhile organization that helps at risk children were swept away...ALL BECAUSE OF A DUMB PICTURE OF ME. Craziness...
My daughter-in-my-heart listened to me complain about the picture and how awful I looked in it and she reminded me of a book that she had given me, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and a chapter that deals with being content with your body. The chapter is called Content to be Me...Each day I think I have made peace with my body and that we are friends and I accept all of the parts of me and then I will have a moment that makes me believe I have not.
But, it's just a moment and then I remember that I would never judge another person so shallowly and I won't treat myself that way either. So, today was a great day filled with happy moments serving others...and my picture was on the news and I looked....HAPPY!!