I am still trying to get used to this little-itty-bitty computer we have bought...
small screen...small keyboard...I think the type is itty-bitty, too! (just a sec)
Better...
We are still in Jacksonville...that's not the problem...the problem is my lack of control and lack of schedule thereof!
I make plans for Tampa...like our church...I don't pack clothes because we will be back for Sunday...and then we aren't there.
Then we are given a schedule...which every trade except ours ignores...and then the general contractor uses us to push the other trades back on schedule!
What all this means...we have missed church and it has forced us to be responsible for our own worship. I am used to doing devotions...for myself or leading others but to sit by myself and worship God is not easy...it is why we have churches in the first place.
I have never been a person who thinks you only worship corporately on Sunday Morning in a Church sanctuary...I have found this is the easiest way for me. But...I know too many people who worship differently from me in their own way...and I acknowledge authenticity when I see it...
I have been forced to spend alone time with God and question some of my actions and realize I have been allowing myself to be complacent in my role of worshiping God.I am thinking of that Easy Button commercial...I am not proud of this but I am honest when I say...I have gone to church...check that off the list...now what else is on my to-do list! I am also questioning what I think God expects from me at worship...so I have been listening...just listening...quietly listening to God...
my answer so far is... He expects MORE from me.
I fear change...and change is coming. I don't adjust well to change...this tiny keyboard is an example...but real change is what is required of me...
Have a great weekend...Thank you, God.
7 comments:
I was kinda going through the same thing this past March. My spirit was looking for a change. I found it and now I believe my spirit is better. Well, I know it is. I am excited again. You will find your way too. I'll be praying for you!
Ok...I may be out of line here...I am not a religious person, but I do have faith...
It seems that you are focused on the "act" of worship. I believe that if you live your life in honor of your faith, then you worship every day. Every moment, every act, every word that comes from your mouth is a way to show your faith...
I hope that helps.
I personally believe that we are here (ALIVE) to worship God. Our faith is not something that we drag out on Sundays. Being a christian is a lifestyle. I believe that we are dead in trespasses and sins and God gives us life, He takes out the stony heart and gives us a heart that wants to please Him. In our speech, our everyday life, our everything.
If a court of law tried you (or me) for being a christian, would there be enough (or any) evidence to convict?
Lots of times when I just need something, I go to www.sermonaudio.com
You can pick out a topic or a scripture reference and there are Many good preachers there.One of my personal favorites is Henry Mahan.
I too will be in prayer for you Ronda.
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I will be praying for you. Change can be good, but it´s usually hard to go through.
I hope you find your way and hope you can say yes to changes that you feel are due.
Thank you Betty...I agree and many changes are good...it's my issue with change that has held me back.
Valerie...I think you understand exactly what I am feeling...if I hadn't been able to spend my Sunday mornings in a differnt way ...listening quietly to God...I don't think I would have ever felt the need for change.
Glenda..
I think I do live out my faith everyday...somehow that isn't happening on Sunday mornings...it has stopped being alive for me...it has become a very nice place but not a place that I feel God's presence...it's hard for me to say that and it's not anyone's fault...I am being asked to do something else...this is the church that I have raised my family in...so it isn't an easy thing for me. My church family is wonderful...I just know I need to find another church...that knowledge makes me sad and scared.
But, now I can't deny what I think I am supposed to be doing...which is not the same thing as every other Sunday for the last 20 years!
Dawn...you aren't out of line...
worship is different things for different people...I believe we are all called to worship how we think God wants.
I try to live out my faith but to worship God is act of obedience for me...I just am trying to redefine what that is for me...I am not sure what it will look like.
Thanks for the prayers...it means alot to me.
You are always a surprise to me. I love coming here to see what you are up to!
hey ronda, thinking of you. Have said a wee prayer for you too xox
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