Sometimes I think the really happy memories we have and remember...don't really start out so happy! Sometimes, it starts out stressful or tragically wrong and then somehow...it all works out and you remember it as if looking through rose colored memory glasses. Then that awful moment becomes funny, amusing, and a treasured memory. Or, maybe that is a crazy coping mechanism that I have developed and if that is so...then I thank God in heaven on high that I possess that crazy gift!
My husband and I are what you may refer to as..."competitive holiday cooks" or "bossy-get-the-hell-outta-my-kitchen" types! We literally have to take turns with our holiday cooking..."You may have Thanksgiving and I will have Christmas!" to which the other person will respond "And, I will watch you and critique your every move at Thanksgiving and you will micromanage the Christmas Spirit right out of me!" In the picture above it is my turn to cook but as you can see...HE is in my kitchen...and he can't decide whether to finish washing his hands or choke me!
The particular Thanksgiving I remember and am thankful for started out awful...the middle was awful but like a great three act play...had a great finish!
My husband was being picky, bossy, and testy. At least that is how I remember it! I was having a difficult time...I was menopausal and the doctor thought a bit of Zoloft would help. It didn't unless my crying at the drop of a hat was an improvement over say...picky, bossy, and testy! The Hubby was hovering which was making me nervous...and I had 15 for dinner and a complicated menu. I wanted him out of the kitchen...and I wanted him to read my mind and take out the kitchen trash...without you know coming into the kitchen. He finally had had enough of my mood and snapped back...which I accepted all wounded warrior like.
When my guests including my Mother, Grandmother,and Father arrived. The tension in the air was significant and everyone felt it. I was holding onto my tears with a feather-like grip. My father took one look at both of us and said " Boy, is she giving you a hard time?" And.I.burst.into.tears! leaving all the guests, all 15 of them ...and running into my bedroom...crying hysterically! My father saying to anyone who would listen "What did I say?" What did I say?"
I cried for only a few minutes...when in walked my mother and grandmother who did not say anything...just hugged me. I kept saying that I didn't know what was wrong with me over and over...They both said it will be okay. I cried and cried. I finally called in my oldest son who conveniently had just turned 21. I handed him a $20 and said go get me a bottle of wine. "What kind?" he said helplessly. "Any kind. Just make it a white wine!" (And that day marked the first day that I drank wine with dinner at Thanksgiving...which now has become a lovely tradition.) But the memory I have that makes me so very thankful...was that at my worst...snotty nosed mess...my mother and grandmother showed me such love! That out of the awful "how do I get out of this bedroom with all my guests in the other room" feeling was resolved with my grandmother, mother and I walking in arm and arm and greeting everyone with...A Happy Thanksgiving!