It's a Family Affair!

My commitment to myself was to get back to blogging so I was startled to say the least when I went to sign in and my blog looked as messy as my house! I couldn't remember how to update anything and I had to even think for  moment what my password was.  There was a time I blogged everyday and a "gang" of us "hung" out each morning "listening" to each other. (That's a lot of air quotes, if you are reading this out aloud!)

I miss those times and I have become nostalgic for a few other times as well. I, no longer have my own business and while I do miss some aspects of having my own business for the most part ...I am happy doing what I am doing now. There are times I miss working with my family very much, mostly because they were  great and are my actual family!

Last week while working an event, I saw a woman I worked with for 10 years, long before we started  our own business and I was moved almost to tears...I know all of the time that I worked there couldn't have been perfect...I was a full time working mother, so I was beyond stressed, busy, tired and guilty! But, there she was reminding me about herself and a group of people who were to me like family.

My Hubby and I have more changes in store for us, some we have chosen and others thrust upon us like a rogue wave at the beach.. I have come to believe that you can remember friends and family, whether it be your actual family, bloggy family, work family or former church family fondly while embracing the new changes...the alternative is a lot of disappointment! That's not how "my family" operates!

That Girl Rocks the Dress too!

Happy Anniversary!! I love the dress and the Groom is cute too!

33 years ago, this Friday...I Married a Really Cute Guy!

This is my favorite picture ever taken of me, including my wedding day... I frankly, rocked that dress! I love the way my husband looks, I love the expression he is making, our youngest son makes the exact same modest smile. The picture was taken at our daughter's wedding and the next day we flew to California and stayed at the Ritz Carlton to celebrate our anniversary.

That was a pretty good day! I WOULD like to have that day over and over!

I have so many things I NEED to blog about but I haven't...so odd that I would use such a public forum to maintain my sanity and clearly if you look at the frequency of my current blogging you would wonder about my mental state. Big changes have been made in my life and still bigger ones to come...

I am currently taking my life on a minute by minute basis... I don't think  that means I am doing badly because for a woman who likes to plan her life down to what she will wear two weeks from now...I am making great strides in just "not knowing" what the future holds for me.

All that I know, really know is that man will be with me! Happy Anniversary, honey...see you then!

Accepting...Even Me!

It is funny how accepting you can be of others and then you can be so hard on yourself...I know this seems to be a trait women have although I do know a man who shares this trait with me. I try to be a good friend and I never, EVER judge others on their physical appearance but I have struggled with judging myself and my looks all my life. I think you could safely say I have never been satisfied with my appearance and I usually dislike having my picture taken.Two years ago when I started my blog...I chose the picture I have on my blog, not because I thought I looked good in it but because I was happy when the picture was taken. Today, I discovered a picture that was taken while I was volunteering and it is awful and for awhile it almost took all the happiness away from me that I had felt while working hard for a good cause...shallow, yes that is me!

I saw the picture and all these feelings of unworthiness starting invading my thoughts and suddenly every good feeling I had of serving a very worthwhile organization that helps at risk children were swept away...ALL BECAUSE OF A DUMB PICTURE OF ME. Craziness...

My daughter-in-my-heart listened to me complain about the picture and how awful I looked in it and she reminded me of a book that she had given me, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and a chapter that deals with being content with your body. The chapter is called Content to be Me...Each day I think I have made peace with my body and that we are friends and I accept all of the parts of me and then I will have a moment that makes me believe I have not.

But, it's just a moment and then I remember that I would never judge another person so shallowly and I won't treat myself that way either. So, today was a great day filled with happy moments serving others...and my picture was on the news and I looked....HAPPY!!

  

The Perfect Little Pink Dress...

I have the perfect little pink dress, it is a pale pink with beautiful pink flowers along the hem line and while the tags say $198.00, that is NOT what I paid for it...I paid only $29.99, on sale at Talbot's. It was such a bargain, my perfect little pink dress. The palest of pink, the color my daughter describes as a shade that completely wipes all color from me making me appear corpse-like. The wonderful design of the dress, shows off not one of my  attributes but somehow hangs lifelessly on my body.

I have had the dress for over five years now and each and every time I pull it out of my closet, I marvel at my great find of only $29.99 and I ponder on when and where I might wear this perfect little pink dress...

Then I stop and remind myself , that my daughter, who doesn't lie much to her mother says it is an awful dress and that it is not in fact the perfect little pink dress! 

I have learned that shopping doesn't make you happy...not in the long run! It just really fills your closets with "things" and "things" do not make you happy.

I Love You! a Gift by Sivan Garr

We Are Like Two Peas in a Pod...Only One is a Bean!

Recently I told someone my Hubby was my best friend and he is...that has not always been the case. We started out as friends but as marriages, sometimes do... we got busy and became acquaintances! Working, raising children and even our church would become a distraction that kept us from feeling like friends.

Both of us are very tolerate of other people and each of us have friends who think very differently that we do; it took a long time for us to allow that with each other. It took us even longer to realize that married people don't have to have the same mind ... it's okay to disagree and be different.

I have wonderful friends, in fact if you were to judge me just on my friends alone, I think, I would be judged a success. My friends are varied, Christian, Atheists, Hindus and I think I have one who classifies herself as Pagan but I think she's joking and really  she's agnostic. Some of my friends are conservatives and believe it or not they love me in spite of my liberalism. I have one friend who is a conservative Nudist and while I am neither, I love him just the same and I know he would do anything for me or my family. My husband is probably more accepting than even I am, however, for years we struggled to accept each other for just who we are and remember that we fell in love with each others differences. 

It's funny how we all strive to accept our neighbor but we needle our spouses for their shortcomings! God gave me a patient man who forgives easily...and I am grateful.
That's the great thing about getting older...what's essential is more clear to you everyday!