Sunday, June 27, 2010

Accepting...Even Me!

It is funny how accepting you can be of others and then you can be so hard on yourself...I know this seems to be a trait women have although I do know a man who shares this trait with me. I try to be a good friend and I never, EVER judge others on their physical appearance but I have struggled with judging myself and my looks all my life. I think you could safely say I have never been satisfied with my appearance and I usually dislike having my picture taken.Two years ago when I started my blog...I chose the picture I have on my blog, not because I thought I looked good in it but because I was happy when the picture was taken. Today, I discovered a picture that was taken while I was volunteering and it is awful and for awhile it almost took all the happiness away from me that I had felt while working hard for a good cause...shallow, yes that is me!

I saw the picture and all these feelings of unworthiness starting invading my thoughts and suddenly every good feeling I had of serving a very worthwhile organization that helps at risk children were swept away...ALL BECAUSE OF A DUMB PICTURE OF ME. Craziness...

My daughter-in-my-heart listened to me complain about the picture and how awful I looked in it and she reminded me of a book that she had given me, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and a chapter that deals with being content with your body. The chapter is called Content to be Me...Each day I think I have made peace with my body and that we are friends and I accept all of the parts of me and then I will have a moment that makes me believe I have not.

But, it's just a moment and then I remember that I would never judge another person so shallowly and I won't treat myself that way either. So, today was a great day filled with happy moments serving others...and my picture was on the news and I looked....HAPPY!!


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Perfect Little Pink Dress...

I have the perfect little pink dress, it is a pale pink with beautiful pink flowers along the hem line and while the tags say $198.00, that is NOT what I paid for it...I paid only $29.99, on sale at Talbot's. It was such a bargain, my perfect little pink dress. The palest of pink, the color my daughter describes as a shade that completely wipes all color from me making me appear corpse-like. The wonderful design of the dress, shows off not one of my  attributes but somehow hangs lifelessly on my body.

I have had the dress for over five years now and each and every time I pull it out of my closet, I marvel at my great find of only $29.99 and I ponder on when and where I might wear this perfect little pink dress...

Then I stop and remind myself , that my daughter, who doesn't lie much to her mother says it is an awful dress and that it is not in fact the perfect little pink dress! 

I have learned that shopping doesn't make you happy...not in the long run! It just really fills your closets with "things" and "things" do not make you happy.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

We Are Like Two Peas in a Pod...Only One is a Bean!

Recently I told someone my Hubby was my best friend and he is...that has not always been the case. We started out as friends but as marriages, sometimes do... we got busy and became acquaintances! Working, raising children and even our church would become a distraction that kept us from feeling like friends.

Both of us are very tolerate of other people and each of us have friends who think very differently that we do; it took a long time for us to allow that with each other. It took us even longer to realize that married people don't have to have the same mind ... it's okay to disagree and be different.

I have wonderful friends, in fact if you were to judge me just on my friends alone, I think, I would be judged a success. My friends are varied, Christian, Atheists, Hindus and I think I have one who classifies herself as Pagan but I think she's joking and really  she's agnostic. Some of my friends are conservatives and believe it or not they love me in spite of my liberalism. I have one friend who is a conservative Nudist and while I am neither, I love him just the same and I know he would do anything for me or my family. My husband is probably more accepting than even I am, however, for years we struggled to accept each other for just who we are and remember that we fell in love with each others differences. 

It's funny how we all strive to accept our neighbor but we needle our spouses for their shortcomings! God gave me a patient man who forgives easily...and I am grateful.
That's the great thing about getting older...what's essential is more clear to you everyday!